If a Tree Falls in the Forest, Does it make a Sound?
On holding onto what you know to be true even when others wish you wouldn't.
I.
If a tree falls.
If a tree falls.
If a tree falls.
If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?
If a tree falls in the forest
and no one is there to witness.
If a tree falls in the forest
and you are there
and you are there
but.
but your mother says it is not a tree
says trees do not exist
says trees have never existed.
If trees are falling in the forest
and you can hear the sounds.
If trees are falling in the forest so close
that the shadows dance over you as they fall.
If trees are falling in the forest
and you can feel your heart palpitating as each one hits the ground with a thud
and you are running.
If trees are falling in the forest
and one grazes your side
leaves your body bloodied; ankle broken
unable to keep running.
but your mother
your mother says why are you crying?
You poor, stupid child
there are no trees
there is no sound
there is no bloodied body, broken ankle
You are fine. You have turned out fine.
If the trees have fallen in the forest
and you cannot run.
and you are not fine and you have not been fine.
If the trees have fallen in the forest
left you bloodied; ankle broken
hair wild with leaves and dirt
eyes wide with fear; palpitating heart
and you are not fine
and you have not been fine.
but your mother
your mother glares in confusion at your tear-streaked face
says run
run or I will beat you
and when you still cannot run
and you still are not fine
she turns her back and walks away.
II.
When the trees have stopped falling in the forest
and there is only silence
and you.
When the trees have stopped falling
but the rains have come
and you are too cold
and too small
to remember
anything but the way the shadows danced over you as the trees fell
too cold and too small
to remember anything but
bloodied body, broken ankle, palpitating heart
the confusion on your mother's face before she walked away
the way she could not
did not
would not see you.
and you cannot be sure
if they
if you
exist
and you are too cold and too small to imagine an after.
If the trees have fallen in your forest
and the rains have come
and you cannot be sure
if they
if you
should ever have existed.
If the trees have fallen in the forest
but you have started to forget
and it is too cold
and you are too small
to remember a time before the falling
and you are still trying to run
even though the blood has dried
and the ankle has healed
and you want to imagine an after
but you know
that afters are only for people
who know
that they
exist
and you are not fine, and you have not been fine
then you must build a garden.
III.
When the trees have fallen in the forest
but you have given up on running
because there is nothing left to fear.
You have picked yourself up
wiped once bloodied body
cleared hair of leaves and dirt
learned to walk tenderly on no longer broken ankle
and it has taken time.
but your mother
your mother sits in the garden that you have built and tells you that trees do not exist
and there is only the confusion on your mother’s face before she walks away
the sound of your laughter
the way she does not
cannot
will not
see you.
but you are not a child anymore
you have kissed every fallen tree
written love letters to the rotten places
dug your fingers into dampened earth
let the sun kiss your naked body
and found that you belong.
and you
and trees together
transformed nightmare into daydream
remembered how beautiful
you are
whispered to each other
that you
that they
exist.
and even when you feel the phantom pains of all that has been lost
you have promised to each other
never to forget.